On my Journey with a Multi-Domain Expert Friend at SRM

 

I have always written about people who have influenced my life in some way or the other. People around us have a great impact on us knowingly or unknowingly. I always pick people who are likeminded in some aspect and I think this goes well with anyone on earth. While leaving TACOLA (Tamil Computing Lab, Anna University), I never ever thought it is not going to be so easy to make friends at workplace like I had there. What I learnt after joining SRM is that professional life shows you many likeminded people in terms of your work ethics and policies. I just earned a big list of friends that way, who have similar thought process to that of mine   and have helped me to grow along with them. I was just wowed by so many people who gave their hands around the globe who work in the same research field of mine and  lift me up and kept on believing me .This is what is  keeping me to move forward. Dr. Muthu Annamalai sir from U.S and Dr. Bharathi Raja Ashok sir from Ireland have shown a great support. I am thankful to them. There is a huge list of people at SRM and outside SRM  who show their support consistently and encourage me always .I will write about them all someday. I am only worried if I will hurt anyone; if I miss to mark anyone by mistake 😊. that is why delaying that right now 😊

 

In this process of making many professional friends, I really forgot to make friends at the workplace like I made during my UG, PG and TACOLA days. I was fine with it and felt so comfortable. Of course, my friends I made at my apartment are like the ones like I had during my school/college days. I really miss you ladies during this lockdown ☹ Those extended chats on Fridays, with our kids playing around, short trips. …. this Covid is bad ☹ We will win this and will catch up. And yes finally coming to the point. I was lucky enough to find a friend at workplace too like I had at school/college/TACOLA/apartment. This post is about that friend.

 That was my first hands-on Workshop as a resource person on NLP using Python on July 3^rd and 4^th 2019 at SRM Vadapalani Campus. Thanks to Dr.Fathimal ! Mam, you gave me the beginning and apart from you, I am happy to spot  two more likeminded people at SRM, Vadapalani campus, Dr. Prasanna Devi mam and Dr.Meenakshi Arya. I have inspired a lot from you both by the way you work. Thanks so much Dr.Fathimal for all this. Coming back to the NLP workshop , one of my colleagues, Mr.Karthick Nanmaran was also  invited for that workshop as a co -resource person. Since that was my first workshop experience, I never had a clue on how to deliver things. I just went by the flow of topics assigned to me. That was a two-day workshop. Me and Karthick divided the topics given to us. He was supposed to give session on the second day. Handling a workshop is totally different. You got to sense the audience pulse and should not be pre-determined and should be ready to change your plans accordingly. This I did not know. I finished my first introduction session and started to give hands-on session on POS tagger and Named entity tagger in Python. That is when some one in the audience said, they did not know Python but I was not ready for that and I myself was exploring Python afresh during that time. Someone stopped me in the middle  of the conversation and started teaching  the Python foundations for the participants. I did not feel even a bit of irritation rather felt very relaxed that things were going in the right direction. That someone is none other than my co-resource person, Karthick and I never knew  at that point that he is going to enlighten me much more. Here is the photograph that was taken at the end of the workshop.

Karthick is a very young (compared to me  😊), dynamic and  a multi-faceted person . He is a  tech savvy in many fields, Software Defined Networks, IOT, Kubernetes, NLP, Machine Learning etc etc. Mastering a single domain takes a lot of efforts and I am still wondering how this guy is into these much of fields. He has got a lot of good  Publications. He  has done his Masters in University of Edinburgh. He is a good teacher. I have seen many students discussing positively  about him in my  student whatsapp group . If possible do read his interview that he gave for a website when one his questions papers went viral on the web 😊https://www.thequint.com/neon/viral-exam-instructions-paper-srm-university-professor . I know him since 2017 as we both took Text Mining.  He gave a  hands-on session in  Python for all the Text Mining students during that time on a Saturday and that was an extra effort he gave to give more insight about the subject to the students. He even gave me an opportunity to talk on Machine Learning in one of the National Level workshops he organized at SRM in 2017. Do you remember this Karthick ? One day when I was  handling a lab session, You asked me if I can talk on TensorFlow and give an  intro on ML. I know I did not keep up your expectations in that talk. I shouldhave said no to that request 😊.

 

Then in 2018, we again took NLP together, but I never sensed a friend in him and yeah I said I almost forgot to make friends apart from professional friends at workplace after TACOLA.  Also Karthick had an additional tag  on him. He is the son of our Head of the Department, Dr.B.Amudha mam. Usually, these tags disturb me a lot. I have strange policies, so I don’t violate that for any reason.  Of course, that tag was not made visible by Karthick at any point of time and the problem was much with my perception 😊 I know I am strange. Coming to that NLP workshop at Vadapalani campus in 2019, that’s when it hit me that this person is very nice and had so much of similarities with my TACOLA friends.  He resembles a lot of my TACOLA  friend, Radhakrishnan  in  terms of both looks and character.

Karthick is my Python guru. We both gave one more hands-on workshop  at the EEE department of our University.  Without him those workshops would not have served the purpose and he gave me a clarity on how a hands-on Workshop should be conducted. He already had so much of workshop experiences. The foundations that he gave me  on Python and on clarity on how to conduct workshops gave a lot of confidence to me later.  Also we both worked on projects on Speech recognitions. We used to explore on Tamil computing tools.We started a github project named, "Karmughil". Also we tried getting funds for these projects and we wrote proposals together.  We targeted to submit to Tamil Virtual Academy(TVA) and they asked us few requirements so we have spent one full half day sitting on the  stone benches of Anna university , CEG campus  editing those proposals / coding speech recognition ( TVA is next to CEG campus and we preferred sitting under the tree at CEG:) . I seek a lot of compatibility while working and I have found a lot of coherent thoughts coming out of both of us while writing those proposals. I am going to really miss this Karthick. The way we write proposals in vey few hours, even patent documents. I am doubting if I will get such a compatible co-researcher. Good Luck to me :)

 I strongly believe in the mantra, "Judge a Character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him" Many would have seen this in my Whatsapp status and this has been my Blog’s caption for more than a decade. This is the easy mantra I always use to judge people. People who exhibit consistent behaviors are trustworthy.  Karthick is high on values, he is very down to earth. He recently wrote a book for Oxford publisher on Data structures using  Python . I am surprised of how a person can be like him holding on to ground despite many feathers on his cap. Anyone who sees his twitter profile would judge him as an anti-Indian(LOL). He gets angry on a lot of political discrepancies and raise questions but that is only a bit of him . Yeah any social media webpage only depicts a very small proportion of a person 😊

Karthi,( that’s how I call him as that “ik” at the end  was not coming easily for me so I decided this way 😊)  you are one of the blessed souls and I will surely miss you in the campus. When I was in TACOLA, going to canteen for tea twice a day was a ritual. I almost forgot to have a teatime at SRM and It was you who would drag me to canteen, at times, for tea. I realized after 4 years that our Java green tea shops deliver such a nice ginger tea.  I really enjoyed our Tamil virtual Academy visits. CEG has a lot of lifetime emotion within me and thanks for giving me  company to have food at CEG canteen during our TVA visits :)We tried our level best to get that proposal but sad that we could not get that. Never mind.  You taught me many things right from Python and even on how to be composed towards people who do not align with our policies. Thanks for taking all my nonsense. None at SRM, know that I get angry as I don’t vent my anger other than people at home and to my close friends.  I know departures are part of life and we got to accept that  and I am very well used to it and I also know that some people would never leave out of our life/mind  no matter what. 

 I wish you a fantastic happy life ahead. I always say this to  you that you  are meant to strike big. I strongly believe in that and please try to pull out the best version out of you.  Keep rocking and flap your feathers towards the pinnacle for which you are destined for!

 

Thanks to the souls who patiently read this 😊

 

Subalalitha

 

 

Let it Go -Frozen Song Task

 

Thought of giving a short update on my blog . I am seriously unaware how many read my blog and may be I feel this is the reason why I keep writing. If we count on who reads , then  we will lose  interest. I write for my sake. I like registering the conversations  that I have with my neurons and arteries in different timelines. The more I converse, the more clear and sane I become. Yes, sometimes u go too hazy and that's fine.  I mark a threshold to emit my hazy thoughts and I will make sure I execute the clear ones. I hear some giggles. I know  it is from the people who know me  as they would have seen me executing more of hazy hilarious thoughts but what i meant in the previous sentence is about  serious hazy thoughts:).   Pointing on the hilarious ones, the way I interpret things and respond or question  may not sometimes match with my actual age. You will definitely be surprised..  One day Selva asked me to keep the cleaned chicken  in freezer. I asked him  pointing to the upper part of the Fridge, "Selva ithaana freezer?". My mind knows that it  is the freezer and I am doing right but some how I ask these questions. Selva is used to all these and he will never be surprised at all. He  only says with a smile, "unnala mattum than ipdi keka mudiyum". That is because some times there is a time delay in interpreting the actual scenario and I would have thrown the question before I actually interpret it right.  . Helen is yet another person who is all used to this as we both go to college together and she is my neighbor and a good friend. I think Helen is now as balanced as Selva and knows very well how  to handle me. We both go to shopping together and I think I should compile all my hilarious questions and answers  as a separate post. Helen please help me out to recollect. I think apart from Helen, Karthick  my colleague and good friend  is  also aware of my instant, irrelevant QAs but otherwise in serious life scenarios,  I can say this with confidence at the age of 38, I have a very good thought process and can actually understand people better, execute my tasks  and take decisions clearly. This I lacked totally even a year back :) 

Wow, there was too much of meandering. Yes this post is about the task my daughter assigned me yesterday night. We both converse a lot before going to sleep . I think that is because of no gadgets around. She talks more about her friends and will listen to my stories as well. Yes. She still needs a story to put herself to sleep mode.  We both sing together. No we are not good singers but we have our favourite collections. In our apartment  celebrations, we both usually give a performance together:). When accuracy is not much needed then you can give a try right :) . We both sing that "Rolling in the Deep", "Waka Waka".. We like singing that "vizhigalil song" from Darling movie. My daughter likes that as it was shot in our SRM Tech park steps. The heroine will climb down those steps in a slow pace. We both like walking in those tech park steps.  I make sure I take the steps no matter its sunny or rainy. I like that :)

Coming to the point now, She was asking me to learn this song, "Let it go " from Frozen movie. I was surprised how come she believes me to this extent as that song had so many high pitches but I really liked that song. The lyrics are really cool and apt for a  girl (humans?)to take  life forward under  any circumstances. Here is the song. Let it go. I am now getting addicted to that song and I have put it in loop so that the tune gets registered first. Then we can merge the lyrics. 

What I note is that earlier, I suggested her the songs but now she gives me more suggestions and I I find her tastes to be so good and always believe in her choices. Recently she took a firm decision of discontinuing her classical dance while me and her dance teacher was not totally happy but later she gave firm reasonings and she said she wants to focus on coding, cue math and music . I got convinced. Selva is usually convinced with her but I take time :) I think we should do this to them . Right or wrong they will explore and learn through their decisions. May be later they will surely have the clarity for life or at least not to complain on life and be happy with their decisions. 

Thats what I had to say:)

Thanks for reading and have a nice day ahead :)

Subalalitha

The Journey of Evolving Continuously...

 

When I don’t get comfortable in doing anything then I opt writing. Oh yeah It should be blogging 😊 . This gives a lot of clarity and has been giving  me a clarity for the past 15 years. That’s huge right? I had  a talk on NLP but it got cancelled today due to unavoidable reasons and I have a big to- do list comprised of work-family tasks. When the to-do list goes lengthy, I feel it is time to take a break and I believe a break  gives a lot of  energy. These days, my options to take a detour has changed a lot. I am losing patience to watch any web series, films … Maybe I am aging?? Do not know exactly.  Listening to songs calms me down usually but now felt like writing 😊

 

As usual, I did not have anything specific to write and I am also eager to know how this post is going to evolve. Sounds strange right? Just give a try of translating your mind into writing. You will also  end up doing the same what I do right now here. Ok. These days not only I have narrowed down the relaxing options, I have also narrowed down in choosing humans to talk without any stringent rules  connecting my tongue and mind, of course outside my home 😊. My friends I chose a decade before, would be wondering, if I have become a saint? Coz I was the busiest chatter box in school, college and Tamil Computing lab (Tacola), anna univ. I used to be surrounded by many friends most of the time. I had fancy nick names. I remember “Sublu” was the famous one. My daughter now calls me by that name  😊  and  of course I do talk to people even now  but those rules and regulations tied up within, make me feel as though I have become a calm person . I still remember I was telling as a big  surprising thing that my kid started to talk so early when I took her to Tacola when she was less than a year old . Balaji, my tacola friend told, “enna suba, ithula aacharya pada enna iruku? meenuku neentha kathukudukanuma enna ?”. I really miss those Tacola days 😊 Life is making us to travel in the destined trajectories and of course we have to enjoy it by continuously evolving in the positive direction and pull the best model out of us 😊 . Now I am feeling like a saint after typing this thought 😊

 

After Mentoring Shon, a data scientist from US on reinforcement learning. I see a lot of connect between the way we move ahead with life and the “agent” in reinforcement learning decides it’s optimal path by learning through it's experiences. Note the word, “trajectory” in the second last sentence of last para. It is a reinforcement terminology 😊.  Also, the optimal path taken by the agent  does not depend on the immediate rewards it gets but on the cumulative rewards it gets to achieve the optimal path. Getting attracted towards immediate goals and getting deviated from the optimal path is what happens most of the time in life. Do you see a connect between this process and   Karma ?   oh my god ! Again, feeling like a saint 😊 I am thankful to Shon for continuously believing me and he now wants me to clarify all algorithms of reinforcement learning  and he has sent a book too. Every week I teach him an algorithm, it’s math and an example. Reinforcement learning is completely a new thing to me, and I am keeping myself active in learning it just because he believes in me despite, he is being already an intelligent person. Believers are important in life. If we track all our believers throughout our life, they form the main reason behind whatever self- growth curve we were able to draw so far .  

Coming to the topic “Evolving”, every day of mine induces some factor  that involve in this evolving process.  You got to be choosy. Be it anything.  That’s what I learnt. Of course, I have not changed my unconditional policies towards humans. There is no point in putting a condition unless and until it is a norm. I have not changed my traits, but I am easily getting repelled from the unmatching ones. Yeah that means I am also attracted to those who have similar traits. This universe is big, so I am able to find many positive people at workplace, on social media esp twitter and linked in. Recently many have supported me unconditionally through these platforms. Many thanks to them. So that is good news, right? You do not have to be worried for the unmatching quantities.

 

Talking with people with positive vibes and matching traits is important for our personal and career growth. I understand, like people believe me,  I should also believe in  many positive souls . The word “trust” is so precious. The more you get, you are blessed and the more you  give, you are lucky 😊. The best part is that this process happens effortlessly. That is what I noticed when many supported without even knowing me personally. In this self-evolving journey, I try to pick up as many lessons that may be  helpful in finishing this journey by taking an optimal path filled with happiness and satisfaction 😊 Before I take a complete saint transformation, I think I should  take leave 😊

 

Thanks for reading 😊

 

Subalalitha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Positive Note..

                                         

Nothing gives you a  feel as if you are going through the worst thing in life, when you have severe cold with nose block. No no its not that Covid thing .Thank god 😊 . They talk of  covid severity  but this common cold itself is  enough to ruin your state of mind.This is as per me :)  My daughter presented me this common cold gift to me. Looks like I am insisting more on the term , “Common Cold” to get things more clear. This ruined my night sleep and that added up all the mess on mind. All negativities pop up when you are awake in the middle of the night and also when you have  this irritating cold . One thing I liked today morning is my tutoring session with  a data scientist in New York on Bayesian network problems. He is so passionate about that. He has watched my YouTube channel and he asked me if I can be his tutor. I thought if he is seeking help in Python implementation . Myself being a  beginner , I cant be of any hep to him and I made him  this clear. I almost have a NIL hesitation towards saying “I don’t know” when I actually don’t know and I feel its better too.

 

Coming to this Data scientist, I taught him Bayesian Network problems and he use to ask me daily homework. He does not believe the built in Python libraries and he wants to build Bayesian network on his own. I got really inspired seeing him. Also geared up a positive momentum that somewhere some one will get benefited by our unconditional deeds.  Teaching on YouTube needs a lot of passion and patience as you are doing for free, you should be teaching with less /Nil errors and be ready to face any sort of comments. YouTube payment criteria is not that profitable for education-based channels. Sometimes I get irked when I see 1M views for a video in which that guy tells a review on dosa and sambar. My god he does not even cook it. He eats and tell its good and 1 M people are ready to watch it including me ☹. That’s fine .Teaching online gives you more confidence and depth of knowledge . Of course it gives visibility throughout the globe no matter how much less is the percentage.

 

Sometimes, things around pull me down and creates a doubt if its worth doing when it does not pay back much. That’s the time I quit negativity and tell myself to ignore it and tell myself  that it is just a passing cloud. This Covid had smashed the economy of many and it is a blessing to  to survive with decent earnings and a happy family besides you. With that positive note, I am lifting myself up and getting myself ready to face yet another a wonderful day !

Wishing you too a wonderful day ahead.

 

Thanks for reading

Subalalitha

 

 

Mind Massaging Stuffs Observed during this lock down

 

Yes. All geared up for the new academic session starting on Aug 3^rd. This semester is going to be total fun, as two subjects, I am assigned are siblings themselves 😊 . “Statistical Machine Learning” and “Computational Statistics”.  They have a lot of interconnect so its going to be unidirectional learning this time, but I like bidirectional learning as well. Design and Analysis of Algorithms and Natural Language Processing made a good combo last semester. This time I can focus more on research and can spend more time with my six PhD scholars😊 .

Jumping into the topic, I thought of writing on this when I was listening to  “Jeena Jeena “  and “Tum Hi Ho ”  Hindi songs. Mostly I do listen to Tamil songs but sometimes I just listen to songs which I do not understand the lyrics and do not want to too😊. This might be strange.  I feel that it  is  kind of mind massaging stuff and helps me to keep up my neurons while  I am engaged in other stuff like I am typing this article while I am listening to songs of the Singer,  Jonitha . That is when I thought of writing the mind massaging stuffs that I observed during this lock down and here is the list 😊

•      Starting the day with any task I like. Researching, learning a new concept, Python exercises, rarely yoga (☹), watching humorous YouTube channels (not serious stuffs!). I make sure that I allocate time to myself before I lend it to my family and colleagues 😊

•        Waking up my daughter had been Selva’s duty earlier as I used to leave  for work at 6.50 am. Now I can do that. She likes when I wake her up by playing her favourite videos on YouTube. Of course, that cannot happen every day 😊                                                                                     
•       Watching my daughter getting applause/ scolding’s from her teachers . I completely see a “new she” while attending classes . Namma pullaya ithunnu sometime namake doubt vara alavaukku irukku  avanga acting 😊                                                                                                           
•     Compartmentalising myself, switching minds, swapping hats,  also sometime feels good.  Working on laptop while remembering to peep into kitchen to monitor the status of sambar and boiling rice feels so good being responsible for both the sides.                                                          
•    Watching a very boring Tamil serial (of course off working hours 😊 . This disclaimer is for my colleagues in case if they are reading this! ) along with my daughter and commenting on each and every dumb aspect of it is so fun. I do not want to name that serial. In that entire serial, u can only see three types of scenes. Morning they will all have coffee together as it is about joint family concept, then breakfast, then lunch then dinner and repeat. Amidst this, they use to smile at each other for no reasons and the BGM they play ! my god!. You will like it. Me and my daughter will also mimic them, and we start to smile at each other.  Please this is not to hurt anyone. This was our perception and we are enjoying the drama this way 😊                                                         
•       Trying out new food stuffs and accepting the flop trials. Puffed rice using (wasting?) ½ kg of salt was an  utter failure attempt. And garlic pickle last weekend was a disaster. Will strike this right next time soon .                                                                                                                                  
•        Getting a surprise snack  from Selva while I am in a meeting in the evenings. He suddenly gets into kitchen these days and tries many things. To be candid, he has given many victorious attempts than me during these days. He is now good at baking cake which he learnt for my b day, grilled chicken, ice creams, naans, bread, pizzas and garlic bread.                                                     
•        Recently we found this. Our AC in our bedroom was not working. So, we shifted to another bedroom. We never knew that would give us that different feel of having a trip. That room has a lot of things  but still me and my daughter liked it. When I miss to notice the fun part at times, she grabs it and highlights that. It might be a cliché, but it is true that many happiness generators are free  of cost😊
•  

We are trying to dig for more. Yes of course chaos exist at high levels but trying so hard to keep up the liveliness to the maximum extent possible. Yes one day, we all are going to win this situation soon and let us make this  experience as a memorable one.

 

              Have a happy day ahead and yes, thanks so much for reading 😊

Subalalitha.

 

 

The Confusing Boundaries

Long-time no Non-techi blogging. I’ve been wanting to land here but somehow, I am getting occupied with other things.  I determined to come here today, as I needed a short relaxing break before I focus my mind on the awaiting duties. That bad news  that our department co-faculty’s husband is tested Covid19 positive and he is under critical situation, was continuously hurting me  deeply. The realities of this Covid scenario looks so scary and it is so worrying that she is carrying her second baby while her first child is too little studying in kindergarten. Hoping 100% for her husband’s speedy recovery. Really really hoping,  I know, not only me, the whole world hopes to get that medical solution to put an end to this horrible game.

These days, that one little stuff which is so squeezed up is nothing but our minds. It has to make time to worry for the current scenario, make time to fear for the scenario, make time to live the responsibilities, make time to plan the future and of course make time to calm down, relax and enjoy subtracting the negativities. Felt, there came many boundaries virtually, also in reality and thought I could and should  write on that!

Disclaimer: Sorry for putting up a disclaimer after two paragraphs but I picked up   this idea just here! Please don’t read further if you feel sleepy . This post might get you confused and pull back your sleep😊

Yes, first will try to unwind the confusing boundaries of the mind. I feel all of us have become an anniyan kind of (actually more than Anniyan 😊) split personalities. Earlier it was like, I imbibe that teacher attitude, when I get ready to college after wearing chudidhar/saree. When I am back home, the change of attires, itself taught me the majorly me, I mean transform as a mother /wife/daughter/daughter in law/sister/ etc, when I am back home. Of course, we do attend more work related phone calls and we already had many online works,  but it was not that tough because the boundary was prominent for a teacher job, off-college hours. Now, I sometimes pity my mind that is shuttling between multiple responsibilities. The attires and timings have least role in defining the boundaries. Let me make these points lighter😊. Looks like he is true after all 😊.”It is me….. resides in me…., resides in all of that as me…, talking to me !”. Wow what a far sighted man he is 😊 He told this long back and we all memed him anything. Please, I am not a fan of him and this is purely not a serious statement! Ok let me  take the present life as fun and now after crossing 100 days, it should  no more be a complaint and if you are  working and living a  healthy  life, that means a lot these days and I am thankful for that.

Like my mind, I see many other components suffering from this poor boundary detection scenarios. It is none other than my home. Our living room is a classroom for my daughter, Kavin Nila from 9.30 AM to 12.30 A.M on week days. It transforms as a  dance class for two hours on week ends.  I had to ask sorry to our neighbor, living in the third floor and  We live in fourth floor. My daughter doing that “Thakka Thimmi Thaa” agitations would surely disturb them. Earlier the dance class timings was at 7 AM. Thank god, now it is shifted to 10.A.M 😊  And yes, our living room becomes a  Theatre for a while , park for a while and sometimes becomes, “ratha boomi”  when I see her always watching TV.  Apart from the living room, one room is a software company( ok, not that big, we can call it a,  software cabin ) and the other room as college, ok ok  a  faulty cabin/classroom.

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Yeah coming to these online school classes that my daughter attends, that should be written as  a separate post. School teachers are the most pathetic souls on earth. It needs a lot more patience and passion to become a school teacher. I really mean it. They are paid less, at least, Private school teachers despite the fees being paid, are given less salary but what they deliver to this world is incredible.

Yeah ,my  phone like my home is also confused now. Once it knew the type of calls that it would receive depending on the timings.  Suddenly amidst my official call, some call would constantly coming in along with voice messages 😊 Its none other than my daughter’s friends. “Aunty Kavin Nila va video call panna solreengala”.  They now know to set up a conference video call 😊These kids are also in pathetic situation. It took a lot a time for my daughter to accept this lock down and she used to cry for not able to meet her friends. She even ask me, “when I will go to school and  sit on my school benches?” When the whole world is waiting for the answer how would I tell her. These kids have got well accustomed to this online learning and yes now online playing too. My daughter would arrange all her kitchen toys and set it up as a restaurant and her friends would ask for some food orders. They play for more than an hour and I feel it is fine and it is really required for their mental happiness. Of course, me and my daughter are so bonded, and she treats me like her sibling/friend. She even tells me that she is not able to realize me as her mother most of the times. That is her mind boundary problems and I am not supposed to write on that. What I wanted to convey is that our kids need their friends to keep them mentally happy during this lock down 😊

Yes, family members and friends have intruded a lot in our professional happenings crossing their boundaries. No no I am talking only about the positive things. Without confusing further, I am talking about the online webinars i give. Now they participate and give a lot of inputs. Earlier, when I use to give a talk or give a workshop, It used to be for  a  limited participants and my family members only hear from me. They had to believe what ever I say. Now its all online and my parents, my husband, my brothers and friends are registering for the webinars I give, and they come to know all my jabbering ☹.  I have to mention about my recent experience on First online conference on Tamil Open source technology. It was just so fantastic minus me struggling to balance speaking in pure Tamil and then realized to speak in colloquial Tamil. You can watch the first session of the conference  here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqoJ4eljH0Y  and from here you can find the rest. I would like to thank Dr. Muthu Annamalai who got me this opportunity. I actually knew his name only  through this conference as he used to represent himself as “Ezhil” which is a Tamil programming language he has invented, and he has  contributed a lot to Tamil computing through his Open Tamil. https://ezhillang.blog/category/programming/ . We follow on twitter and one day, he suggested me to write on my Tamil Computing experiences and he has also asked this to the  entire Tamil computing research community and has come up with this awesome aggregation of Tamil computing resources, https://github.com/Ezhil-Language-Foundation/awesome-tamil. Throughout our life, if we look back, many positive happenings would have happened just  because when someone else believed in us . Thank you once again Dr.Muthu Annamalai.

Ok, my neurons are asking for coffee and let me stop here. Hopefully, some scientist would make that most awaiting history of inventing  the solution so that the world resumes to it's  liveliness once again 😊. Meanwhile, let us all love the present life, support each other and yes, grab the maximum positivity possible 😊

Good luck to you and good luck to me 😊

Thanks for reading 😊

Subalalitha

Tale of Uncertainties

Actually, wanted to learn deep learning programming in Python which has become my recent obsession. I am comfortable with Machine learning to an extent but not so with this deep learning stuff. Thought it is  better to learn through programming . I did not do this way for Machine Learning; I mean I learnt the theoretical part first then slowly dived into the Python face of it. Thanks to the Workshops for which I was invited as resource persons. The ground truth is that we will  learn more when we are forced to teach 😊. And yes, thanks to my co-faculty and my friend Karthick who is the main reason behind kindling my interest in Python and he is the one who helped me to conduct all those workshops with ease. Today, I felt I should deviate with the surrounding uncertainties and the best way to deviate according to me is to write and that’s the reason for this blog visit !

Yesterday, Selva showed me a video of how Covid 19 patients are quarantined in temporary hospital arrangements at Chennai Trade centre and Loyola College. It was too scary. Feel like living that 2012 movie. An optimist turning pessimist is not a good sign and let me not do that 😊 Felt like writing about this uncertain life. I think since March 14^th , I am at home.  while I locked my cabin at college on March 13^th, I am sure I did not have any idea that I would be wondering like this about when I will open my cabin again. I am sure not only me, all co faculties who locked their cabins will unlock them with smiles and the classrooms will be vibrant and colourful with students soon.

Always we would have a friend in one of our friend groups,  who would send  these WhatsApp forwards daily and the most frequent one is about “always being happy in this  uncertain life” . May be we ignored that friend as well as that message and his/her curse is making us to learn the fact the harder way 😊.

Many times we won’t know that the good bye we say might be the last one. No No please I don’t mean the worst negative sense it holds. I Feel to those who I waved my good bye on March 13^th might  have thoughts of changing their jobs and we may not even meet again. Saarthak, who is my final year student waved us good bye during  last semester in December and  went ahead with his internship in North India. He was waiting to visit us again in April as we had scheduled his final project viva during that time . Destiny had some other plans. We have planned to  conduct  vivas online and he will leave to University of Toronto for his Masters once these chaos are over!  Saarthak, the world is too small, we will meet someday and staying connected despite the distance is one of the best things for a strong relationship 😊. Let us stay strong 😊

What I am trying  to convey is that goodbyes are to be taken  seriously and it is better to mix smiles with them to make them stay vivid 😊 Also, it is always better to express any positive emotion like revealing gratitude or sorry  on  time. The delays we make, can skip that moment in the whole lifetime of ours☹

Uncertainties may make us lazy as the total life looks hazy ! My parents always scold me and my brothers using Tamil proverbs. I like this one. “அழுதாலும்  உழுதுட்டே  இருக்கனும்” . which means a  farmer is  supposed to keep doing his job even when  in grief. Our grand parents were farmers and may be  that’s why our parents used this proverb to us and  I feel that’s the solution too 😊. With hopes in heart,  we should keep moving ahead with our usual responsibilities. May be this life will choose us if our deeds are much needed for this world. Fingers crossed 😊

I am seriously hoping that I will put an end to this lockdown blog series and  post my last  lockdown write up, the day before  my kid would happily board her school bus and that’s when this  world would be ready for use once again  😊 .  Good luck to me and good luck to you  too 😊  

Have a wonderful day and a happy life  ahead. Thanks for reading 😊

Subalalitha

An Attempt to “Open -Up” during “Lock -Down”

Thought of writing about lock down experiences but its getting extended like anything, also the To-do list is getting lengthier, eventually the mind gets messier and needs definitely a warm-up before jumping in to the TO-DO list . The one thing which makes us always feel guilty is this to-do list. They do not get satisfied most of the time. I always feel had they got the power of emitting emotion they would only emit “Anger” or “Dissatisfaction” 😊 Teaching has become such a multi-dimensional career, and at times, one dimension pulls down the other. Oops, looks like I am sprinkling negativity. Pls Pls erase off your mind, what you read till now 😊 Actually came here to grab a cup of positivity, before I grab my  morning cup of coffee but slipped to do that 😊

This lock-down not only for me but  for all would have been a different experience. Really sad about those who cannot pull out a smiling memory out of this. I am thinking of people suffering due to this Covid and worse than that people facing a huge financial loss. I feel  more than Covid’s  direct attack, the intensity is highly felt in it’s indirect attack, i.e,  financial set back many are facing. I believe, the universe always knows to emerge again afresh no matter how bad the fall was ! Let us hope for the best.

Coming back to my own part, even before the lock down was announced, Selva locked down us a week prior to that. He is always protective and my kid was so puzzled why he is this way when the whole world is roaming around. I had to convince  her with many of his earlier instances. One of the craziest instances would be, he never allowed me to travel alone throughout my entire pregnancy. I was working in Anna University, He always would drop me and I will have to wait till he returns from office to pick me up. He was and still is working in CTS, Mepz, Tambaram and our home was in Velachery. I still remember how I use to wait in the stone benches for him as our lab gets over by 6 PM . His reasoning would be, “I am not even confident on you walking carefully and you cant manage to go home alone". The weird  fact is that, an auto stand is there outside anna university and Velachery is in 15  mins reach from Anna University. I always take his love and care positively and he would be right about me mostly!. The effort he took during that nine months, not sure how many men will do without failing a single day and even after my kid was born he was the one who took more care than me. Blessed me😊. But … yes but… at  times I  I feel he can believe me to take that extra step on my own😊 Still driving is  prohibited to me and I felt during this lock down, it would have been better had I known driving. Ok let me convince him for the rest of my life 😊

Looks like,  I have taken a detour! Passing a day sitting in hall and spending time in kitchen was so boring  initially. Amidst this we had/have college duties, online meetings, Youtube recornings etc. Finding a physical space in our 2 BHK home to separate myself as a mom and a Teacher is not a big problem but allocating a mental space and exhibiting a clear distinction was/is a great challenge. For a kid of course it is hard to accept that  her mom is always with laptop and she needs to sit beside her, watching TV or doing her hobbies and this single child scenarios has its own side effects 😊 . Selva could not help as he needs to be on call, meetings and he got a separate room physically and mentally 😊 Now she also got homework from her school and  from her dance teacher. Yay.. she is also busy now 😊.  Amidst this we did not foresee such difficulty would arise. My kid got fever soon after the lock down started. We had to go to hospital. Only after going to hospital, we came to know that the life outside home is not that scary and that hospital was completely safe. She had a bacterial infection and she had to take three courses of medicine  as the infection got resistant to  each of the course and finally we had to give her injection daily visiting hospital . She is doing fine now. The only problem was to handle kids when they are sick and my lil one makes sure I am awake the whole night and ofcourse  we had to check her temperature and give medicine. All those petty disappointments that arose due to lock down after we faced during this tough time vanished and being healthy and safe inside home is not a bane after all 😊

I was awed by the way the hospital employees work even during this time. Doctors definitely need a big applause but what caught my attention was the other employees i.e the securities, cleaners, nurses who are not paid that high but still they need to come daily risking their life. A group of humans working for the sake of the rest of the human group’s safety and life!  and this is happening worldwide.   This definitely has a lesson in it ! We should  be thankful always for what we have and be polite and kind to others irrespective of  whether they would be useful or useless. It is so weird that most of the world classifies ppl as useful/useless than good/bad.  

Yes regarding colourful happenings,  the song nights we have  listening to all our favourite songs before going to bed,  doing all chores on our own  and sharing them among us.   Me and my kid was craving to have an extended story time and that’s happening these days. I miss my early morning cooking of course, but serving them hot food getting drenched with sweat in kitchen is a happy thing. Yes, my student Saarthak’s interview attempt with me https://youtu.be/I_vdOtJN6rc was a nice experience. The recent one was my birthday😊 Selva’s first cake attempt and my kids’s surprise gifts was a bliss and blessing always. I had switched off my birthday reminder on facebook and my kid had a challenge on me to count on my friends who would call to wish me without any automated reminders. I told her clearly, this challenge is not required in the first place as I know only those five souls  would call (excluding  my family members, parents and in laws 😊). They are none other than my PG friends, Anitha, Vani , Punitha and Kavitha mam and my Tacola friend, Rama who is a scientist now in DRDO . These five have been wishing for more than a decade. 😊 and we take only that birthdays as the opportunity to talk ,taking a time travel backwards definitely at least a  decade before, shedding all those tags before and after our names 😊 I really love that “me” coming out and speaking like I did,  those days. People calling me “Suba” have become so meagre. Ofcourse few professors at our University call  me “Suba” and the rest calls me “Mam”.  Of course, this cant be avoided. I was telling my friends how I miss these informal talks.  I don’t know this Balaji, my Tacola friend of mine talks to me on my every birthday without realizing a single time that its my birthday and wishes me a week later  😊 . This time he got better. Ten minutes after had  called, he realized that it was my birthday and he wished me in our WhatsApp group we have😊 Strange 😊 Having a friend who is not your gender gives you a new dimension to everything 😊 But remembering birthdays and wishing need not necessarily be taken into account in any relationship 😊

That’s the update ! Hope we all grab the maximum positivity out of this lock down and emerge better and continue to fly as high as we can  after our locks are  released 😊 Good luck to you and good luck to me 😊

Thanks for reading

Subalalitha