A Random Post !

Posting another new  post on the very next day!  Not able to believe that this is happening with me today but anyways had no option today even after imbibing a lot of recurrence relation solving problems today morning!

Just thought of doodling my thoughts in my own space here, so that my talkative mind would get cleaned up to an extent.  The most difficult yet interesting thing in life is to accept its sudden changes. Yeah, I forgot to write what this post is going to be as I am not yet decided still and I will not title it till the end as I don’t know the content that’s going to pop up from my mind!. One thing I know that this post is about me and another tiny version of me 😊.  I would have left my laptop and would have entered kitchen by now had she been at home. She went to her grandparent’s home at Vellore along with my sis- in-law kids yesterday. I could not join them, as I have few assignments to be completed.  Anyways will join her tomorrow.  I know there are so much difficult things faced by people in this world than just this  one!  

I am just going to fill the rest of the post of why I miss her for such short duration. Why could not I cross even a half day!  Selva had a bad time yesterday consoling me and he also asked me the same thing, why can’t you help yourself for one more day? Yes, why couldn’t I ? I was asking Selva yesterday, how I was managing life before she was born. Of course, poor Selva, has failed so many times while advising to be mature and think like a grown up! She came into our life only after 2.5 years of our marriage! It was a long wait with pain visiting gynaecologists at least  once in a week! I still can’t forget her day of arrival to this world. You won’t believe! Mine would have been the  quickest delivery in the world! At least would be in the top ten! My due date was November 2^nd, 2011. Till November 2^nd night, I  did not get pain. My hospital was just next to my apartment. So, the doctor said you just wait for one more day and come when you get pain. Till 7 PM NOV, 3^rd did not get pain and so went to the hospital.  I still remember how those two couples who had come for their first scans gave that shocking expression on their face,   when I was giving my details and telling the nurse that I need to get admitted today for delivery ! Selva had gone to inform my parents and his parents about my admit so I had to do this! So funny!.but I hope it would have given them cool thoughts about delivery! I  Was very scared of this normal delivery and I was expecting to have a C section as I did not get pain. After examining me, I still remember that disappointing moment, when my doctor, Balakumari mam declared,”admit her to normal section!” My god I was panicked and confused how is it possible without pain. Around 7.45 PM went to the theatre and at 8.30 PM she was born. Yeah its really a medical miracle!  May be for 20 Minutes would have felt the real pain and those were the toughest moments for Selva, consoling me and helping me to go ahead! Yes! Doctor preferred husband to be there throughout the process than mother. I thank her for that decision and also taking the right decision of going for normal delivery against all odds and complications I have!  I still remember that moment, I kissed her for the first time. She cried very loudly and no one could calm her. Selva said, “I think she would be more talkative than you!” Yeah that’s true!

Talkative nature! Its in-built with me and with her! Now after Joining SRM I have learnt to be calm with students and with co-faculties to an extent! Coming back to my daughter, Since my childhood, though I have two brothers and I am in good rapport with them, I always wish I had a sister. Have envied my friends having sister. Brothers are a good support but they don’t converse for long. And yes even Selva, being a lovable and responsible husband could not fill that void gap.   Yeah! she could only fill that void gap and talk with me like a sister I never had! She gives very easy solutions for even tough problems and encourages me whatever I do with her innocent mind!  I have seen her talking proudly about me to her friends and to my sis-in-law’s daughters.  Of course, without she noticing me listening to these conversations!    

She also gives me lot of troubles, test my patience and make me go wild! I have even felt relaxed when she goes for dance classes so that I do my jobs at home peacefully but crossing more than half a day yesterday was  the most difficult part and that’s why you are also undergoing the pain of reading this post!

Anyways thanks for reading and sharing my pain. Feeling better and will be back to the same old joy-mode tomorrow 😊  Could not get a good title  even after coming to the end of the post,  so giving this bad title, “A Random Post”!

Subalalitha

Ventures in 2018

As the year 2018  is going to end soon, just wanted to look back of what has happened fruitfully, or at least what efforts have been taken  to reach the fruit. Basically, when you think the same in mother tongue, “apdi ennatha intha varusham kizhichirukkom!”. Sounds better and straight right? But still wanted to write this post  for my English blog for unknown reasons. I believe in introspection a lot as ,“the truth ” has become a rare component.  Be it critics or positive comments, its always confusing to detect the percentage of truth in that. I am sorry about this distrust with co-homo sapiens, despite the fact that I do still have a good number of true people around whose words can be taken as such!  Coming back to introspection, it’s a wonderful tool to assess yourself if you really accept your mistakes that  are hidden even in your victories!  This post is about my ventures initiated in this year that took either positive direction or negative direction.

Let me talk about plus first. I am really happy that I took a decision to start a You Tube channel through which I deliver my Machine Learning lectures. Thanks to my friend and my co-faculty at SRM, Ms.Deeba Kannan, who was the person behind. Her, “ Theory of Computation” channel is a huge hit and is popular around the globe. Getting views in Millions for an academic channel is not so easy and she did it!. I was first reluctant to go on web because even a small mistake would get projected bigger. Machine learning lectures are mostly taught by giants in this field either in Industry or from renowned Institutes like MIT and Standford.  In India , its taught by IIT Professors. I thought its even waste of time when huge number of good videos are existing already. But then I started it for two reasons. 1. It could be a good resource for my  own students. As they are tuned to my lectures they would find easy to grasp my content easily than any other content during examinations. 2. For my own purpose because when you handle a subject you spend a lot of time to understand each and every intricate details but when its not recorded properly and if your neurons are bad at retaining the details, you may have to again spend the same time when you handle that subject next year!. I am so lazy to write all details by hand and even if I write I make it so illegible and I never understood even a single time when I try reading my notes again. So yeah the moral of the story is now I can listen to my lectures and save time !

Regarding my Channel, though it may not have reached popularity when compared to that of  the existing giants, I feel happy when I receive positive comments from unknown persons who are  not my students. I felt really happy when a particular person asked me to post videos for few topics. I never knew that video on , “K-Medoid Clustering”  does not exist. This particular video is a huge hit and has gained the maximum views of 8.k + views.! This semester I am handling Natural Language Processing, so decided to post videos that are Machine learning- NLP combos! Let’s see how it goes. And regarding other academic +research initiatives, was able to get my paper  published on Tirukural with a   renowned publisher, “Taylor and Francis”!  Way to go!.  Really wanted to get good amount of papers published in renowned publications which is also one of the metrics which assesses how good a Teacher  is!  

On the negative side, still I am not striking an externally  funded project which  also  a teacher needs to explore. Actually these type of projects helps you to explore many experiments  but even after  attempting seven times, I have not striked it even once! Hoping to do it next year at least!

Apart from my SRM dimension, as a home- maker, I am happy that I took few initiatives. Again lets start with the positive one. Even before starting my Machine Learning channel,  I ventured first into Cooking channel named, “Nilas Kitchen”. Started with my  daughters two favourite items 1. Mutton dum Biryani 2. Beet Root Chutney. But I was not able to find time to  continue that. I have few list of items requested by my friends like  Idly Podi and Veg Kuruma. Hope I do it soon. Selva, get your Camera ready !

 And the worst flop ever this year is my driving!. Though I managed to get my driving licence, its because for a strange reason that Selva gets more  tensed , sweat and head ache abnormally when ever I start the car!, I got panicked and I stopped trying that!  He even don’t have answers for these strange reactions! I actually learnt for him so that we can share the burden but realized that he can never sit calm when I drive!  Selva, oru future pilot a neenga thaduthu niruthiteenga! Cha pilot Vera la. Ok fine!  Hoping to drive alone and gain his confidence at least in 2019!

Thanks for reading my introspections and I hope You have started your introspections already!

Happy introspecting! and Wishing you a victorious and a happy New Year ahead!

Subalalitha