The Confusing Boundaries

Long-time no Non-techi blogging. I’ve been wanting to land here but somehow, I am getting occupied with other things.  I determined to come here today, as I needed a short relaxing break before I focus my mind on the awaiting duties. That bad news  that our department co-faculty’s husband is tested Covid19 positive and he is under critical situation, was continuously hurting me  deeply. The realities of this Covid scenario looks so scary and it is so worrying that she is carrying her second baby while her first child is too little studying in kindergarten. Hoping 100% for her husband’s speedy recovery. Really really hoping,  I know, not only me, the whole world hopes to get that medical solution to put an end to this horrible game.

These days, that one little stuff which is so squeezed up is nothing but our minds. It has to make time to worry for the current scenario, make time to fear for the scenario, make time to live the responsibilities, make time to plan the future and of course make time to calm down, relax and enjoy subtracting the negativities. Felt, there came many boundaries virtually, also in reality and thought I could and should  write on that!

Disclaimer: Sorry for putting up a disclaimer after two paragraphs but I picked up   this idea just here! Please don’t read further if you feel sleepy . This post might get you confused and pull back your sleep😊

Yes, first will try to unwind the confusing boundaries of the mind. I feel all of us have become an anniyan kind of (actually more than Anniyan 😊) split personalities. Earlier it was like, I imbibe that teacher attitude, when I get ready to college after wearing chudidhar/saree. When I am back home, the change of attires, itself taught me the majorly me, I mean transform as a mother /wife/daughter/daughter in law/sister/ etc, when I am back home. Of course, we do attend more work related phone calls and we already had many online works,  but it was not that tough because the boundary was prominent for a teacher job, off-college hours. Now, I sometimes pity my mind that is shuttling between multiple responsibilities. The attires and timings have least role in defining the boundaries. Let me make these points lighter😊. Looks like he is true after all 😊.”It is me….. resides in me…., resides in all of that as me…, talking to me !”. Wow what a far sighted man he is 😊 He told this long back and we all memed him anything. Please, I am not a fan of him and this is purely not a serious statement! Ok let me  take the present life as fun and now after crossing 100 days, it should  no more be a complaint and if you are  working and living a  healthy  life, that means a lot these days and I am thankful for that.

Like my mind, I see many other components suffering from this poor boundary detection scenarios. It is none other than my home. Our living room is a classroom for my daughter, Kavin Nila from 9.30 AM to 12.30 A.M on week days. It transforms as a  dance class for two hours on week ends.  I had to ask sorry to our neighbor, living in the third floor and  We live in fourth floor. My daughter doing that “Thakka Thimmi Thaa” agitations would surely disturb them. Earlier the dance class timings was at 7 AM. Thank god, now it is shifted to 10.A.M 😊  And yes, our living room becomes a  Theatre for a while , park for a while and sometimes becomes, “ratha boomi”  when I see her always watching TV.  Apart from the living room, one room is a software company( ok, not that big, we can call it a,  software cabin ) and the other room as college, ok ok  a  faulty cabin/classroom.

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Yeah coming to these online school classes that my daughter attends, that should be written as  a separate post. School teachers are the most pathetic souls on earth. It needs a lot more patience and passion to become a school teacher. I really mean it. They are paid less, at least, Private school teachers despite the fees being paid, are given less salary but what they deliver to this world is incredible.

Yeah ,my  phone like my home is also confused now. Once it knew the type of calls that it would receive depending on the timings.  Suddenly amidst my official call, some call would constantly coming in along with voice messages 😊 Its none other than my daughter’s friends. “Aunty Kavin Nila va video call panna solreengala”.  They now know to set up a conference video call 😊These kids are also in pathetic situation. It took a lot a time for my daughter to accept this lock down and she used to cry for not able to meet her friends. She even ask me, “when I will go to school and  sit on my school benches?” When the whole world is waiting for the answer how would I tell her. These kids have got well accustomed to this online learning and yes now online playing too. My daughter would arrange all her kitchen toys and set it up as a restaurant and her friends would ask for some food orders. They play for more than an hour and I feel it is fine and it is really required for their mental happiness. Of course, me and my daughter are so bonded, and she treats me like her sibling/friend. She even tells me that she is not able to realize me as her mother most of the times. That is her mind boundary problems and I am not supposed to write on that. What I wanted to convey is that our kids need their friends to keep them mentally happy during this lock down 😊

Yes, family members and friends have intruded a lot in our professional happenings crossing their boundaries. No no I am talking only about the positive things. Without confusing further, I am talking about the online webinars i give. Now they participate and give a lot of inputs. Earlier, when I use to give a talk or give a workshop, It used to be for  a  limited participants and my family members only hear from me. They had to believe what ever I say. Now its all online and my parents, my husband, my brothers and friends are registering for the webinars I give, and they come to know all my jabbering ☹.  I have to mention about my recent experience on First online conference on Tamil Open source technology. It was just so fantastic minus me struggling to balance speaking in pure Tamil and then realized to speak in colloquial Tamil. You can watch the first session of the conference  here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqoJ4eljH0Y  and from here you can find the rest. I would like to thank Dr. Muthu Annamalai who got me this opportunity. I actually knew his name only  through this conference as he used to represent himself as “Ezhil” which is a Tamil programming language he has invented, and he has  contributed a lot to Tamil computing through his Open Tamil. https://ezhillang.blog/category/programming/ . We follow on twitter and one day, he suggested me to write on my Tamil Computing experiences and he has also asked this to the  entire Tamil computing research community and has come up with this awesome aggregation of Tamil computing resources, https://github.com/Ezhil-Language-Foundation/awesome-tamil. Throughout our life, if we look back, many positive happenings would have happened just  because when someone else believed in us . Thank you once again Dr.Muthu Annamalai.

Ok, my neurons are asking for coffee and let me stop here. Hopefully, some scientist would make that most awaiting history of inventing  the solution so that the world resumes to it's  liveliness once again 😊. Meanwhile, let us all love the present life, support each other and yes, grab the maximum positivity possible 😊

Good luck to you and good luck to me 😊

Thanks for reading 😊

Subalalitha