Epitome of Love-In memory of my Mother

 What is Love? Love is being selfless; love is being responsible; love is being unconditional. Maybe love has many dimensions, but this is what I have understood from my birth till date. One is the luckiest if he or she gets or gives the purest form of love to the people around them. Givers are always the happiest. This post is about one such giver who just gave, gave, and gave throughout her entire life, even until her last breath.

It has been seven days since my mother finally took some rest and attained peace. The first thought that came to mind when I first heard the news was, “It is good for her.” Of course, not good for us. The process of accepting that someone you talk to on a daily basis is no more, and that you can’t hear their voice or see them, is very heavy. I have consoled many friends when they lost their parents, but I understood that it is not that easy to overcome the loss.

I have always been a positive person and have taken most things positively, no matter how tough or negative the situations were, and I am not letting anyone read a negative, sad post. Let me sprinkle positivity here.

My mother, Dr. U. Shunmuga Sundari, is a retired Tamil Professor. She is the first woman graduate in our village, Keezhavayali, a village in Tirunelveli district. I have already written about my grandmother, who is a superwoman to me(https://subalalitha.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-women-i-love-and-inspire.html) My mother lost her father at the age of two and had a sister (my periyamma). My grandmother, who had no exposure to formal education, strongly believed in its importance and made her daughters study.

Rising from 0 to 1 is very hard, and during my childhood, I heard my grandmother’s stories mainly about these early struggles. We were always taught to be grounded, to know where we came from, and to understand where we should move forward. My periyamma and my periyappa (who is the brother of my grandmother) together supported my amma’s education, and my father, who is the first male graduate in the village, helped her secure a government job. Finally, they came to Chennai.

My amma then helped my periyamma’s daughter to study and supported their family in return. Their sense of responsibility and commitment to doing their duty at all times has always surprised me.

Amma has always been a fighter. I still remember how she completed her B.Ed while she was carrying my second brother. The same thought came back to me when I had to do my PhD while I was carrying my daughter. She constantly encouraged me to complete my PhD and continued to motivate me until I got a job at SRM in 2015. She was worried that I might choose to become a homemaker taking care of my daughter. I had that thought too, but she always wanted me to be financially independent. She believed that women should work and that it would support a family to a greater extent. (Disclaimer: These are our beliefs. From family to family, this may vary, and being a homemaker is, of course, a good choice too.)

Initially, I was not very happy to take her advice, but today I realize that women going to work not only helps the family, but it can also create an impact on society. It can, in turn, inspire many women to come forward.

Amma has played a vital role in ensuring that the three of us (I have two younger brothers) received a good education. She sought advice from many professors regarding our higher studies. We often received guidance from Dr. Rajendra Bhoopathi sir from CEG, Anna University, and Chandru Anna, who works at Cisco, on higher education.

The way she prepared for our semester exams is unimaginable. She would get me two packs of pens (almost 20 pens) for each semester and get the calculator batteries replaced, and she would go to Saidapet to do this. She did this for me and for my brothers as well. I often wonder how she had that energy. We did not have a car. She only took the bus and was particular about choosing the white board bus, which is cheaper than the yellow board.

With those thoughtful sacrifices, they managed to help me complete my B.E. and M.E. She even paid my first semester PhD fees, and later my husband Selva took care of the remaining semesters. My brothers completed their B.E., and my second brother pursued his master’s in the U.K.

I am happy that I made her proud one day by asking her to receive the award, “First Generation Entrepreneur” at STPI Chennai, on behalf of me as I was not available to collect it that day. She used to feel happy whenever I showed her messages that students send me on Teacher’s Day, and she always advised me to teach well to students. She feels  happier whenever I visited government schools and gave talks. 

I am sure you are reading this, amma. Don’t worry. I will continue to do my duties both at home and at work and  I will fulfill all my responsibilities. I will also make efforts to pass on the values you taught me to the next generation and will join you one day with satisfaction.

Thanks for reading. Have a great day and a great life ahead 😊

Subalalitha

 

Cherishing 20 years of Blogging & On thoughts after 40+

Back here again. I don't suddenly jump here. It keeps hitting me in some portions of my arteries and neurons that I need to get here . Amidst the demanding life, I keep postponing, many times I have ignored it for many years even . Today I was supposed to work on my Finetuning Part2 YouTube video but I thought I should do this as  it has been 20 years since I started writing this blog!!!!!. Thanks to Selva, my husband for introducing blogger.com to me:) .Today it is very user friendly but in those days, it used to have many HTML components which looked so confusing to me .Selva taught me to use it and encouraged me to write continuously.  Many blog platforms came after that but I did not want to shift this to any other. Hopefully they don't shut this blogger down! 

Though this is publicly posted, I have always perceived this as shaping my own thoughts and this is one of the best ways to  hear myself clearly amidst this noisy world.

It is not only about big dreams, even the smaller habits, daily chores, small decisions, I think I was  able to hear myself precisely through my blog posts. Yes of course there are many things pending that still needs more alignment, I am mentioning about the mended ones:) 

Let me write about the  thoughts after 40+ now. Yes, I will be completing 42 years very soon:)  Sometimes it is very strange to even think, I have grown this old. When we get older, it is so confusing to separate the matured person and the yet to grow kid inside us :)   Here are my observations about myself after reaching 40+ which helps me to clear that confusion and make me accept the  fact that I have grown old.!!! My daughter will call me boomer for these. Never mind :)  I am going ahead and writing this. Only 10 points so that i don't sound like too much of a boomer :) 

1. Having NIL expectations from anyone and anything. Yeah, I had practiced this long back and now accepted  with zero hesitations.

2. Used to be worried about the outcomes but these days I never bothered about if the outcome is a victory/failure. I am only  doing things whichever feels right for me. Most of them have given positive outcomes and the failed ones have given me more learning. So either way it is a win-win game! 

3. Nothing excites me.  I know that I cannot count this as a completely positive thing but that is how my current state of mind is. I think the neurons have learnt most of the patterns and the outcomes. Maybe excitement only comes in uncertain situations? I am not sure. 

4. I am able to predict the nature of humans very easily. This is sometimes good and bad. I was much happier when I was naive on this part but this is helping me avoid wasting time on wrong people.

5. This one too I had practiced long back but these days I do it with zero ripples. Accepting people as they are without judging them. Might be contradicting with point 4 but I only keep myself off from totally unwanted people but otherwise, in the professional world, we need people of many kinds and we can't expect them to perfectly align with our thoughts so it is ok to accept their positive side and move on.

6. Staying emotionally detached from professional life . Being a very sensitive person, it is very hard to move ahead when I get emotional about the work components. Complete emotional detachment from all work components gives me a more clarity to move ahead with peace!

7. These days , I am accepting that anything takes time!!!. I was once expecting fast results that only gave me loads of disappointments. Now I am aligning my thoughts to take  efforts  which may give results slower. This I am applying to all the essence of life! 

8. This one I like the most  though it might sound negative about me:). These days I have zero concern about what people think about me. This has helped me to keep moving forward . Of course I am always willing to correct myself if someone points out a flaw. That is different . It was so exhausting to go around and prove to people. I Thought, I could save time and energy by avoiding it. People willing to understand will take efforts others won't. That is fine 🙂.

9. Though I am not excited, I am very much satisfied and happy most of the time. Mainly with the constraints. Accepting constraints and trying to find a way to move ahead gives clarity instead of fretting and fuming on constraints. 

10. Finally, I have understood the power of investments on Health, Skills, people and money . Money is the byproduct of health and skills. Once I used to ignore health but after 40, I have strict restrictions on my diet and making 30 minutes for walking (should increase time and add more activity), so that I can be of some use to people around both in family and in society for the rest of my life 🙂

Wow. You read all 10 points!!!! Kudos to your patience. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

  -Subalalitha

Breaking one’s own shell

 

 

It has been more than 2 years since I visited this most favorite place of mine and it has been more than 3 years since I visited my Tamil blog. This is weird!  Writing is one of my craziest passions that helps me in relaxing my arteries and neurons but then priorities keep changing. Today until I started writing this post, never ever had the intention of kick starting my blog again. Disturbed sleep at 3 am and a blank mind reminded me of this place to revisit and rejuvenate!

 

It has been a roller coaster ride for the past 3 years balancing both SRM and FirstLanguage. Both SRM and FirstLanguage have groomed me a lot as a person.  This post is actually about my experiences after starting FirstLanguage. FirstLanguage was started in the year 2021.  Business was new to our family and we did not have any mentors in our family. That’s when I understood my journey as a teacher was relatively well planned ahead of time because of the fact that my mom is a Tamil Professor who is the first of her kind in her family. First generation struggles are huge and that’s what we had to undergo after starting FirstLanguage. Don’t worry this is not an article on our struggles as they are never ending. Rather, this post is on the learnings that changed my vision towards life in many aspects. Let me see how can I make it interesting so that you feel like to continue to read without quitting 😊

 

Me as a person, before 4 years back, never ask for professional help. Be it resource person opportunities or research collaborations, it all happened on its own. I am thankful and grateful to all Professors and researchers in my professional network who gave me tremendous opportunities and this is surely a great blessing. In case of FirstLanguage, this rigid personality of mine was a great barrier in opening doors for us. Then after long time I learned that we are creating a win-win situations and we are not asking for help when we try to promote our company’s products to the clients. So, I broke the “Not asking” shell of mine eventually 😊 Of course I get a lot of mentoring help from the entrepreneur community these days. I will write about it mentioning each one of them some time later.

 

“Entrepreneurial mindset” itself has more toughness in it and I had to put and I am still putting more efforts to build that mindset. As an employee I see my fruit every one month in the form of salary 😊 but that is not the case with FirstLanguage. Failing continuously for long time to see even a small victory and working towards a large vision needs a lot of mind workout without letting the fancy term, “depression” into life 😊. Initially it was so exhausting to face failures but then now I see that as an  opportunity to align with the right direction. I think that’s how Universe works and it responds. I am a  strong believer of Universe and that’s how I think every atheist perceives God 😊. Universe keeps redirecting us based on our efforts and eventually takes us to the destined place. This mindset of accepting failures have given me a great clarity in handling many other aspects of life! Staying emotionally detached in professional life has done wonders.  So, nothing to lose 😊

 

I have never been a good task extractor and I could only make people work better if they are already good and that is actually bad ☹ As we move up the ladder be it in any profession, we need to enable others to grow by training them on their tasks. This was really difficult to me and I am getting better at tuning people to the professional requirements these days. I think so 😊.

 

Still, I believe there is lot more to learn and unlearn to get better and better until the last day of mine😊Let us see how this goes! This is what I had to say here by extracting tit-bits from my tired neurons and it is time to kick start the day already. Thanks for reading. Have a great day ahead!

 

Subalalitha

What Mask masks?

 

Back to my own space 😊. Thought I won’t be even thinking of this space as life has totally changed. Juggling with many roles after we started our firstlangauge company, I am left with “NIL ME TIME”. Of course, there is no repentance and I dont have rights to repent as all were my own choices. I am learning a lot in this process, shifting many hats in a single day keeps me energized no matter what my emotional/physical state is 😊. Experiencing many emotions in a single day, actually exposes many me to me (Sounding like Nithyanandha ?? 😊)”  Hopefully I will align and churn out as a better person in this process 😊. Setting a side my babbles, would like to come to the point right here. I was just thinking to write on this for long so  pushed all my tasks on queue for a while and wanted to flush out my  tiny  thought about how masks have had their influence on me😊.

When this mask culture started, it was bit irritating. Going to workplace with sanitizers, handwash, spray and yes with this mask felt much odd but not anymore! I don’t know how many of you felt this along with me . wearing a mask is actually advantageous and cover up few things for us and I thought I shud write on that here .

 The sudden chuckles or laughter that pops  up seeing something makes the person around me clueless and baffled 😊 but now my mask can cover this up for me 😊 . I will give you an example. the hoarding that is kept in Guduvanchery ( we cross this place every day while going to college ) on top of a mobile shop having its owner face with a big smile. I don’t know it creates a laughter every time I see that. No, I don’t mean to ridicule that person and of course he looks absolutely  fine but for some reason it evokes laughter. I have showed this to my friend and co faculty, Helen. Even for her, it evoked the same laughter. There is no such happiness in this world, other than seeking a partner in such crimes 😊 many such instances and incidences....  Mask now masks this  for me and the person around me is saved now.  One more instance, every time I see that tamil translation  of State bank of India , the word  பாங்கு (baangu )  for the word “bank ” also does evoke chuckles every time I read it!. They could have  used வங்கி (vangi) ,instead. I don’t know long back I have seen this. maybe they would have changed. no idea.

While travelling in bus on the way to college, I use to plan and think of the upcoming tasks and occasionally I use to voice out my mind voice.! (mind voice nu sathama pesiduven , sorry those who dont understand Tamil. pardon me. this is a famous  Tamil movie dialogue😊)See,  this will also be now masked up by my mask 😊 and the less volume - hummings I do while listening to songs will also now be invisible to ppl around me and they can have some peace of mind 😊 the only botheration is how am I going to handle post pandemic without mask😊. Oh yeah it is not about me and it is the botheration of the ppl around me and I know they will get used to me and that’s how I ‘ve been managed to live all these years 😊.  I Feel so fulfilled that I came here and spilled out  this thought of mine here. Let us keep enjoying the life, in the way we like 😊 and Yes, if you too felt  all this along with me, a big HI-Fi  to you😊.Hope we are all psychologically ok.😊

 

Happy weekend to all and thanks for reading! 😊

Subalalitha

 

 

 

 

Investing on Trust

 

I know it is very squeezing with lot of pending works around but wanted this little detour on my blog to align myself better 😊. Also, work is a never-ending process so forcefully taking a break might increase productivity. That’s what I am hoping for when I will resume to work after publishing this short post. With no further delays, I will reveal the point I had to say. The word, “Trust”! It is just a powerful and an awesome tool. I greatly believe and invest on, “Trust” and of course not on everyone. We build trust on many people in our personal and professional lives.  In this post, I just wanted to narrow it down on the trust that we build with the younger generation. Since I am a teacher by profession, personally and professionally, I meet a lot of younger generation. No matter what, I just blindly believe the younger generation. Starting with my own daughter who is 10-year-old, I always tell her, “I believe in you”. I keep saying this to her and she feels so happy that I trust her and It is a fact to be accepted that the younger generation has a lot of thought clarity than us 😊 Before I meander, I would cite my experience I had a day before with one of the parents of my student.

 

Here it goes. Many students approach me for Letter of Recommendation (LOR) for their master’s degree. It would be surprising to see students  those who even who passed out from college in 2016, will mail me remembering my name. Recently, a student had mailed the Controller of Examination, who is one of the superior bodies of our University, asking for my phone number and I got that mail through our Head of the Department 😊 Happy that they trust me even after many years😊 One recent pleasant shock was from one of my students, Ravi Teja who passed out from college in 2016. He suddenly came to my room and asked me if I remember him. I barely remember anyone these days. With huge number of instances being met and conversed on a daily basis, it is becoming so hard to remember and yes, I will also count my age factor here 😊. He could have told his name but he did not  say that and he was telling all clues to guess him. Sometimes, I remember students for their  notorious attitude 😊 I recognized a student’s name recently, even while we was wearing a mask. He is also a  2016 passed out student. He was surprised and he must be thinking that I have a great memory 😊 😊 😊. The fact is that I would have used his name most frequently to mail his faculty advisor or his parents for his frequent absence  in class😊 😊 😊. Coming back to Ravi Teja, he was speaking for almost more than half an hour but  I did not recognize him and I was already feeling guilty as he got me so much of sweets, chocolates and savouries. Usually this makes me feel so uncomfortable, but we also need to accept from them as they give with so much love and respect and importantly earned from their  hard earned money. He was giving many clues but din get him  and finally made up my mind to ask his name and he said . I told him , yeah then I know you and asked him why  you did not  tell this in the first place 😊 Coz he created a lot of delays in submitting his project reports and he also admitted that he was one of those mischievous  students. He used to be very active is Aarush student club and will not come to class often.  This is one of the sweetest perks that you get in teaching profession. You get so much of unconditional love and respect, and this would add so much meaning to life 😊

 

Yes, I know meandered a lot and I am sorry about it and this is part of my thought process 😊 Actually yes, I wanted to share this particular experience of mine. A parent of a student was constantly in touch with me for getting an  LOR. Usually this does not happen as only students approach me for LOR . I thought the student must be sick or busy with his placements but even amidst busy schedules, students only approach us. I asked her what happened to her son why he is not speaking to me. I was bit disappointed with her reply. She said, “I am not confident about my son that he will finish this process successfully”.  I can’t be harsh on her no matter how I felt inside 😊. I told her you should be the first person to believe your son and even if he makes mistakes in this process, it is ok.  I even told her, "He is going to U.S all alone for his masters degree and you are not ready to believe him for this tiny responsibility”. I don’t think she got convinced as she sent a mail to get my digital signature even after that conversation. This hurt me and this should have hurt the student as well. To err is human and making errors is a continuous process in life and that is what is going to make all of us to grow. It is ok to let the kids to make errors and of course that will have its own cost coming with it and let them undergo that and let them learn from their mistakes. Maybe I am wrong, or Maybe I am right, I am not sure but investing on "Trust" at least on the younger generation will yield great returns and that’s what I strongly believe in.

 

Thanks for reading. Have a great day ahead 😊

Subalalitha

 

 

 

On My Research Experiences on LGBTQIA Community

 

Badly wanted this break. July thru September first week, was much squeezing with all the task deadlines falling in the first week of September. However, there was lot of learning going and I love that. Keeping updated gives me more confidence and at times, neck pain too 😊. I will write in detail about these  tasks on my technical blog soon but will cite them here. (Task#1) Writing a paper with Tamil NLP team, worldwide formed by Bharathi raja from Ireland. My part was very less but I  learnt so much from all the team members and I love working with that team. (Task #2) A proposal had to be written for our School of Computing and I had to coordinate it and needless to say, I have to give top priority for SRM tasks always!  (Task #3) Then there was a request from Dr. Alice Nithya from our Institute to give a hands-on session on, “Reinforcement Learning (RL)”. “Saying no” is generally very difficult for me and for nice people like her, “saying no” can’t be done. I know few RL concepts but never knew to code RL in Python. Through this workshop, I came to know of “Open AI Gym” libraries, and it was a nice experience to give that session on Sep 7th. (Task #4) Then the most important task about which this post is mainly about got included. Writing a paper on “LGBTQIA”. Until the work is published, I can’t write about the research work but just thought of writing the thought process that I went through here. Surely, will write about the research work on my technical blog, once the paper gets published and this task had the deadline on Sep 6^th.

 

Dr.Lavanya from SRM wanted to work with me on a paper. I was very hesitant as I was already on a tight schedule with the above-mentioned tasks along with my regular academic and research duties at SRM. I had to pull out a “NO” to her initially. Then there was call from a Springer journal Special issue on “Equality and Diversity”. When I saw that one term, “LGBTQIA”, I thought I should not miss this. So, called her again to ask if she is ok to write a paper on “LGBTQIA”. Like I was ignorant about LGBTQIA, a few months back, even she was ignorant about it, when I spoke to her. Then after I explained about LGBTQIA, she readily accepted. I would like to thank her for having accepted to work on this topic and I learnt a lot from her. Though this task had to be taken totally out of schedule, we somehow managed to get it done and submitted our paper on Sep 6^th. Fingers crossed. Let us see how it goes with the reviewers.

A few years back, there was a positive talk on LGBTQIA among friends, but I was feeling totally uncomfortable and was not accepting the fact behind it. Then I just thought why not I should accept the fact about LGBTQIA as the friend who spoke for it is so knowledgeable and one of those, whom I trust the most. Then I taught myself about the positivity and the fact behind LGBTQIA community. I was very upset to see the sufferings they undergo. What is commonly unfair among the humans is that “Until we undergo, we won’t understand”. I include me also here.  Yes, for the readers, who are yet to know what LGBTQIA is, let me explain. LGBTQIA is short form for Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Inter Sexual and Asexual community.

 

Twitter is one of the eye opening social handles. If you are on twitter you get to listen to legends on a regular basis. I just love tweets of  Sundar Pitchai, my gurus, Andrew NG, Chris Manning and Dan Jurafsky .. I saw a tweet from Sundar Pitchai supporting LGBTQIA. Here is a letter that he sent to LGBTQIA employees. https://www.theverge.com/2019/6/12/18663017/google-ceo-sundar-pichai-lgbtq-employees-letter-harassment. June month is celebrated as the pride month for LGBTQIA community and almost all top software companies around the globe came forward to support LGBTQIA and hoisted the LGBTQIA flag.   Here is a picture of google with LGBTQIA flag and here is the blog link https://blog.google/outreach-initiatives/arts-culture/history-pride-flag/  . 

 

I request the readers to filter out the bad contents while knowing more about LGBTQIA, as those bad contents stand as the most important reason behind stopping us from understanding the ground truth. India still lags so much behind in accepting LGBTQIA community.  At least, we have now accepted Transgenders. I am sure positive things will happen soon.

Just because heterosexuals form the majority in the society, the LGBTQIA who form the minority should not get suppressed and depressed. Most of us think that it their choice. It is not their choice and even they may be struggling to accept themselves. It is decided in their genes right from their birth. Just because, we fellow citizens are not willing to understand and accept, many talented individuals from LGBTQIA community are undergoing great depression instead of focussing on their career and personal life. This is totally unfair. The world needs more of talents from all sorts of community and if most of the good talents are deviated and allowed to get depressed just because of our narrow mindedness, then we are not leaving a better world for our next generation. Here is a picture of Menaka Guruswamy and Arundati Katju . Menaka Guruswamy and Arundati Katju are advocates of Supreme court of India and their most important identity is that they are couple. They have and they are fighting for LGBTQIA community to bring more legal rights to them. More of such powerful instances should come out from LGBTQIA community and that can only happen if we are supporting them.

Sometimes I think, who are we to support others. Every human being has the rights to live their own way in this world. If someone is not harmful to the society, then it is not definitely our business to barge in his/her personal life. Not only for LGBTQIA, but the same sort of suppression happens for Divorcees, single parent, Not Married and so many such ppl in the society.  At least now it is time to stop asking personal dumb questions at least  in the professional place like, “Are you married?”, “How many kids do you have?”, “why are you not married yet?”, “why did you stop with one child?”, “why you got divorced” bla bla bla. I am happy at least the question “what is your caste?” has got eliminated in most of the professional places. Thanks to the 80, 90 and 2k kids for this. I am sure the world will get better and better soon. Spreading love is the easiest thing in the world and it is free of cost so let us spread love!

If I have sown a positive vibe through this blog post, I am really happy and thank you so much.

Even if you are not still convinced, I still thank you for patiently reading this.

Have a great day ahead and those who are gearing up to celebrate Vinayaka Chaturthi, Happy Vinayaka Chaturthi to you!

Subalalitha.

 

 

 

 

 

Bouquet of Good souls

 

Looks like I am crowding my Non-technical blog much these days. Yes, will soon update my technical blog too. I am currently  digging on fine tuning BERT, Roberta models. Having six research scholars around you and watching them work on multi dimensional aspects of Natural Language Processing (NLP) is a great learning.  NLP gets updated everyday and catching up with that is very very important. Yes getting updated is important. Looks like my nontechnical blog is slightly getting the tech tinch. That’s fine and yes I forgot to tell you that this post is going to be again a random post that is going to be a mere translation of my current state of mind and heart. That feel of seeing a writeup getting its content filled by your thoughts flushed by a sequence of neurons and arteries (there could even be non sequence possible right?) is amazing!.  I visualize this status reporting similar to a practice that we had a in our St.Antonys school, Mylapore . In the assembly, before national anthem, the class pupil leader would take a step forward and report the section name with attendance on that day like (67/70) and salute the school pupil leader who would be standing on stage and step backward. I really like doing that and you got to believe this that I was chosen as a class leader in my 8^th standard, and I still remember the votes I got, and it was 32 😊 😊 😊. School days are always ever green.

Recently, I completed 38 years of successfully living this life. Would be grateful if I complete all my responsibilities before I leave, and few astrologers have told that this is my last birth. Don’t know if it is true or not but would be more grateful if I had some opportunity to pay back something to the society from which I have taken a lot. Yes, being grateful without complaining no matter what gives you abundance peace. Choosing peace over anything eventually gives you happiness.  That is what I have learnt so far.  Thanks to all those good souls who always taught me the right way of leading this life 😊. Here is the photo of mine cutting cake with my kid, my sis in law kids and in laws on my birthday at vellore. Thanks so much Ranjani,(my sis in law) for your surprise 😊

 

Some one said this universe gives you what you ask for. I think it is our “thinking” that is doing the “asking” task. Your thought is what you become. Yes of course, you can’t have always good thoughts with that halo around your head wearing that white long dress with or without wings 😊 Bad thoughts emitting neurons has to be monitored and be  made sure that they take the backstage.  Also, I have observed this, whenever I fret and lose hope with humans, I get to meet nice ones the very next day gaining my hope back. No, I am not lying. This has happened many times. They give me the confidence on going ahead with my beliefs.  The people who give their time, stop by amidst their busy schedule and shed their concern are to be marked with star symbol and to be taken along. Yes, the more you could carry them, the more you are travelling in the right direction. I have stopped taking nonsense long back. I just pass by such nonsense waiting for the nice ones again.

I am happy that I am holding a bouquet of good souls tied with that nice satin ribbon in my hand. To few, regularly I converse, to few once a month/year , to few on demand 😊 , to few career wise, to few I don’t 😊 .No matter what, You are a special person who have made my life so beautiful so far.  Let us see what this life has for us. Good luck to you and to me as well 😊.Now I  got the apt title for this post :)

One of those soul in my bouquet, I don’t know how I missed him in my blog. Just realized that I have not mentioned about him at all. He is Chandru Anna, my cousin brother who have been my career advisor since my childhood. You have been a great support to me, and I am wondering how I missed you here in my blog and today it hit me hard as today is his birthday. Wishing you a very happy birthday . Have a wonderful life ahead bro 😊 .Here is his photo 😊

Don’t know the thoughts spitted out by neurons and arteries are coherent enough to see this as a write up but have to stop here to continue with my awaiting chores 😊

Thanks for reading and have a nice day 😊

 

 

 

The Offspring

After a long time came here with a title in mind. Sunday looks so messy with official assignments, dinner  and dosa batter preparation   for making weekdays easier etc etc. Spending 30 mins here means a lot and makes much difference😊 . This Covid vaccine confusions that are creating around, to put it or not, will it protect us from covid or not, will it yield side effects or not, will we survive tomorrow or not😊 . It’s so saddening to see human race is  being posed with lot of challenges and the life is filled with too much uncertainties and I do notice that this post is getting a negative flavour. So will change the dimension from here 😊

The offspring I meant in the title is not the biological offspring. The offspring each one’s neurons and arteries are emitting out and I meant that. I know it is bit confusing at this moment. No worries, Even I feel the same here 😊 Will get it clarified right here.  Humans and all living creatures produce offspring. The offspring carry the DNA and creates a string of tight bond between the producer and the upcoming generations as well.   That’s how the biological offspring work(s).

What I meant is the string of tight bond that we could create with  those who are not  biologically  connected to us  😊 . An example always helps.  Almost everyone in the world is an offspring of their kindergarten /primary school teacher as we all still remember the way we were taught tiny tiny things by them. Still I remember my 5^th grade teacher's lesson of how to remember the month which has 30 days/ 31 days. She taught us to remember the first line of a poem which is this,”30 days has September April June and November”. Even today, I use this to check to find out if  that month has 30 days or 31 days 😊 So I am an offspring of her.  I  feel  when we receive  good thoughts/habits/potential/lessons  from anyone, we become their offspring.

Giving out a biological offspring, growing it as a responsible good hearted soul is one way of living even after we are gone,  the many other ways could be to  give away good vibes and that’s how great people influence our hearts even after they are gone . The gestures and the thoughts one emit is  influencing someone and if that is going to be a positive good vibe then that’s how a tight string of bond is created  within or even across generations just like biological offspring works😊 . Hope you are getting my point at least now. Sorry if this is confusing 😊 .

 

 I am a proud offspring of my guru Dr.Ranjani Parthsarathi, my Phd Guide,  and I am only worried if I will  continue the tight bond to my scholars by passing on what she gave me😊.Let us see😊. Teachers are so lucky to produce many  potential offspring. Especially, school teachers😊 . Yeah I am always biased towards teachers. But still …not only teachers, a good boss, a team lead, a friend, a sibling, a colleague, anyone can produce potential offspring. That’s for this reason I have fixed many filters around my neurons to collect only good vibes from people around 😊 . Let me see if I am able to produce potential offspring in this life span of mine😊 good luck to me and good luck to you too😊

 

Thanks for reading. Have a great week ahead 😊

Subalalitha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Empty Bin

Hello all! My usual welcoming words on my YouTube Channel 😀 Wish I could start that again. It was so surprising  and felt so  happy that a Professor from NIT  who does not even know who I am  called and appreciated for the efforts. That showed his magnanimity.  I am currently strengthening my Python skills. I feel it should be explored more as I really feel weak at it for core NLP and Deep Learning applications. May be after I am satisfied I should really start YouTube Teaching . I really love that. Shedding what I  like is not good for my arteries, I know 😀   Caught up with  blogging exactly at 5.50 am. Cooking time starts at 6. am . will start with lil delay today 😀 So should quickly wind up this , so what I mean is that.... I am coming to the point soon 😀

The empty bin that is covered with that black bin cover is so attractive. Yes it is for me. When the kitchen bin is full it stinks and I feel it always gives less peace . Of course most of the time I feel lazy to tie and wait for Banu who works for us, but if it so overflowing, I will tie before she comes, believing that it  would give some peace for her😀

But always every single time the empty bin with new  black cover always vibrates a good feeling. I think the same way my neurons feel, when I tend to dump stuffs on it, I mean the unwanted stuffs. I feel there is a single difference between the real bin and my neurons. The more good  nice thoughts my neurons are dumped with would actually  look like the empty bin covered with new black cover😀 

 Sorry if it was confusing as I typed this post before even my neurons woke up completely 😀

Whatever it is, have a nice day and enjoy the happiness of having an empty bin  😀More happiness to you 😀

Thanks for reading 

Subalalitha

Laying your own road

 

Writing a blog amidst piled up duties is liking having a cup of tea middle of the work. Writing is one of those habits that massages your mind and gives a lot of clarity. I know I have said this many times 😊 but this is what I have constantly experienced for the past 15 years! Writing on a public forum like the one I am doing right now, gives you a better thought process. Give it a try 😊 . Yes coming to the post, as usual I have an  empty mind. I am just rewinding the way I use to plan and write years back and these days unplanned visits to my blog is just normal.  And yes, unplanned writing delivers a lot of TRUTH 😊. Since I had said that writing is a mind massaging task, that means my neurons/arteries are tired of working constantly towards many things around. Let me see what dimension of that I will emit here.

The more I get old, I more I get cognizance, the more perplexed I go 😊 . I really want to go back to the days, when I was ignorant of many things and very naïve ( Mind voice of Selva and few people who know me: “ippo mattum enna? 😊”). No. I feel the difference and I am able to capture people’s mind and that’s the beginning of all confusions (LOL). No I won’t let a negative post coming out of me. Will make best attempts to emit a positive one.

Recent days, I was in doubt of myself, my principles, and rigid policies. The thought process of major population around you affects a lot of your own thought process. No. That would not be the victory you must be fetching for yourself. Being a believer of karma, being an atheist, being a person with inability to hurt anyone, being a person with trust in truth, being a person with trust in unconditional love,  etc etc, If  you share most of these shades with me , welcome to the club, I understand your journey 😊 . I get a doubt?  . Are we guys a majority or minority population? 😊

These days, I can see myself feeling happy towards like-minded people and the reverse with non-matching ones.  The resistance that grows within me towards the negative force is sometimes so scary, as this earth is a mixture of all kind of forces. I think I still need to grow tackling negativity 😊 than avoiding it. My god! I am just watching what kind of transformation this life is giving  me. From 24/7 chatterbox to occasionally talking, of course my chatterbox nature is much utilized now in teaching 😊 I am some how speaking and that's the good news 😊.  and much more positive transformations I am observing in myself 😊

I have this visualization in my mind. Sitting down and laying my road of life like real workers work on building a highway!  There can be defeats, victories, smiles, tears, angers whatever that comes along, I am just going to enjoy the way I believe and will  keep adding colours of my choice. Let me see how it is going to go and how it is  going to look at the end 😊. Now I remembered to give a title to the post using the last para’s words. This is like  how in  most Tamil movies, they utter the Title at the end to justify the connect 😊

 

Thanks for reading. Go ahead and enjoy laying your own road :)

 

Subalalitha

 

 

My Bigram Thoughts and Clarification to my Previous Post

  

Looks like deadlines are chasing me 😊. With AICTE funded hands-on workshop on "Deep Feed Forward networks" scheduled on Feb 4^th, 2021, Correcting research  papers for research scholars and three of my scholars quote the same deadline Jan31st, 2021 ☹, A single-author paper on Tamil Computing to be written for Dravidian  Language workshop whose deadline is on Feb 10^th, 2021 and a funded project proposal to be submitted on Feb 18^th and  Preparing for Artificial Intelligence course . Yay I finally got this course to teach for B.Tech 😊. I have been wanting this for the past five years at SRM.  Though looks like I am squeezed up, I like these busy routines, but I also would want a short detour escaping these routines to gear myself up. So came here to scribble something on a week day -working day, early morning!. I am yet to come up with an idea . Let me see how this post is going to evolve.

 

Yes Yes. Before that, I want to clarify a small thing. I understood that my previous post, “Unheard Conversations- http://subalalitha.blogspot.com/2021/01/unheard-conversations.html  confused many. Only one was able to get the answer after I gave clues. That is nothing but  the conversation between me and myself ( neurons+arteries) . Just thought of bringing out how we think inside but how we react outside to suit the society 😊. Many times, I (we?) would want to vent my anger to people at work but then we would have to give back smiles. Those cannot be avoided too 😊 the same holds good for all emotions as well. Of course, that differentiates humans from rest living beings. No wonder 😊 .Now you can go back and read it again, if you would want to 😊 

Now I got an idea to proceed with this post. I am going to write my thoughts using Bigrams. Bigrams  in Natural Language processing (NLP) domain denote two  consecutive words or consecutive characters.. If it is so confusing, please  track the full stops for clarity 😊.  Here it goes.

 

Deep dark

Still bright.

Moon Stars

Make light.

Hazy Path

Way exists.

Clear Mind

Steady Heart

Direct journey

Gives Smiles.

Give Smiles

Get Multitude.

Give Love

Get Multitude.

Move forward

Only solution.

 

Actually wanted to write more  but have to catch up with cooking and got to get ready for work.  . Feeling fresh now 😊 and that’s the reason to visit this lovely place every time.  Have a nice day and Thanks so much for reading.

 

Subalalitha