Today, feeling like, I am drained
too much after having a packed weekend, Saturday, parents home visit followed
by a boring movie in theatre, returned home at 11. Sunday morning had to get up at 4 AM to prepare for a talk on Sunday at
CEG, followed by cooking and had to
leave by 9 AM to CEG . Everything was of course fun but it drained a lot of
energy and coming to college as usual without a breathing time, feels so heavy.
Usually I don’t write blogs in working
hours but wanted badly to write . So decided to write post 3.30 PM when my
biometric time ends but I have to anyway
wait for the college bus till 4.20 and so thought of making use of this time
gap!. A convenient way of bending things the way we want 😊
Yeah not much time left, I must
come to the point. This post popped up a week back when I was talking to a
faculty. Actually she was my co-faculty in lab. She asked me if I could
accompany her for a tea. I said yes but she did not have the tea as there was no
sugar-free tea available. She is on Keto diet. I can’t be in diet as I am already consuming very less these days (may be I am
aging that’s y not able to eat much
now!). On top of this I can’t imagine of diet. Coming back to that faculty, She said she is depressed. I asked her why.
She said, “my son is not talking much with me as he did earlier”. I think her
son is in 7th grade. She said she is feeling very lonely nowadays. I
anyway told her to look at the positive sides and asked her to think of gals who don’t have family at her age,
or gals who don’t have kids at her age. She said ok and I think she felt better
but I started feeling worse after that ☹. Advising is
the one of the easiest tasks in the world
but following it is not that easier.
I am generally obsessed with my
daughter and I will get down to the core, mentally , if she goes to in-laws
home. I can’t cross a day without conversing with her. I have also written
about this in one of the earlier posts. But after that co-faculty said, I too
thought, may be my daughter would also not converse the same way she is doing
currently with me when she grows and may
be she will spend much time with her friends. She may have to go for higher
studies and Yeah one day she will get
married and will have a separate family, separated from me. All this will
happen but was thinking if I will accept this and cross with the smile on my
face?
I could grasp this from my mom and
from in laws. The way they wait for us and the way they feel when we leave, I
could get it. When I tell my mom that I am coming this weekend, she will almost
everyday call and ask at what time you
will come and ask what papa will eat. Would think how me and Selva will spend
our Old age days. Selva gets angry if I speak too much of future. He does not believe
in savings, but I strongly believe in that. He does not even believe planning
for anything that will happen a month later. I like planning the tasks at least
ahead of two months. I won’t bother if I complete them or not, but I will plan.
I feel that way, I am organizing myself. Selva worries only about the Ongoing
day. I am fine with it 😊
But what I feel is that, we should be well engaged with some
goals even during the old age. That way we may feel better. Of course, we
should have proper health and enough wealth to get involved into an useful
goal. An idle brain welcomes unwanted thoughts and emotions but a busy brain is
too busy to occupy those stuffs. That’s what I feel when I am occupied and
idle. Hoping that all will be fine till the end 😊. Good luck to me and good luck to you too 😊
Thanks for reading
Subalalitha
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